I Loathe Pwer

I hate being told what to do. This has absolutely nothing to do with what I've written before, but as I am in a foul mood, blogging helps.

I am rather positive that I am not the only one who feels this way. I hate the fact that parents can tell their child to do whatever it is they wish to do, regardless of the child's own feelings or want. While this is usually a good thing, after all, young kids don't know enoughy of the world to make smart choices, I disagree with the idea that 17 or 18 year olds be treated as young children as well. I believe that by that time, not only have they garnered the ability to think for themselves, or at least attempt to, but they are also not one to stand by idly and do something that they themselves do not firmly believe in or want to do.

In my case, I refuse to audition for something that I have been in for years, just to make it to a higher section. I play my instrument for the joy of playing it. I don't play it to say, "Hey, look at me, I'm better than you." It's true that beginners are not always as good as those who have been playing for longer than they have, but I see no point to shove that in their face. I also refuse to audition when the director knows my playing talents as well as the fact that there is never anyone other than myself in my section. That's a rather easy choice even without an audition. Add in the fact that my section has no different points, and presto! I see no reason to audition. Of course, there's also the fact that I haven't had to audition for years, and my parents have never raised a huge fuss about it. It appears that all that history goes out the window once the idea of a easier and harder orchestral split comes into play.

Now, I love to play complicated music that challenges me to work harder and become a better musician. However, I refuse to be forced into auditioning for a harder orchestra when I do not want to. I'm all for a harder orchestra. Hell, I've been wanting one for years. But I don't like being told that even if I don't want to audition, it doesn't matter because I wil. That's where I draw the line.

And you may be asking, "Why would you not audition? Isn't this what you wanted?" And the answer is quite simply: Yes, I wanted this. But not when being forced into it. I am a busy person. I am involved in many activities, and as such never really have free time. My friends can all attest to that. The original orchestra is two hours long, and the harder one would be only one. But when you add in everything else I do, it really piles up. The smartest thing to do would be to drop something. And since I already play in bands at my school, my logical choice would be to drop whatever would be redundant. And see, I would rather not drop it. It's my last year with it. Kind of sad in a way. But if I'm being told that what I want has no say concerning it, and that I have to do it, and that people already assumed I would audition and be in the harder orchestra, that's when I feel the need to stop and dig my heels in.

I'm all for free will. And if doing something that imposes itself on my free will, then I'm not a happy camper. I don't think anyone would be. So, to make a long story short, I disagreed, rather loudly, that I was going to audition, and instead of ending in the familiar stalemate, it ended with my parents blackmailing me. If I don't play for one, then I don't play in my school band, which happens to include the marching band, which is my life from summer till January. So we are at an impasse: Either I do as they say, or I do what I told them and I loose my music. Most of my friends know me to be an extremely stubborn person who hates being ordered around, so chances are I will not audition. However, I can most ardently promise that I will not give up my music without a fight. No matter what.

Anyways, sorry about this little, or not so little rant. I'll be sure to post something literary soon.